Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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