I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
