So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just saw a hot homeless man
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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