its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
