these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
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