My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize