there was a trapeze. enough said
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
this will be a night to untag.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
