so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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