Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
