i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
should my penis look like a turkey
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
