Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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