Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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