Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
