You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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