a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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