So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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