I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
