How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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