i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
