awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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