So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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