thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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