my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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