How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
