you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
