And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
