so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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