I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
