Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
