I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
