i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
