i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
