Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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