I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
