she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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