better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
