this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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