I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
