At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
