yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
