I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
