It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
