did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
