You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize