The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
