To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize