I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
