I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
smell my finger.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
