Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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