you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
