I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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