Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
