puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My liver just had a heart attack.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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