that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
