In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
