Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
