I hate your face
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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