The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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