Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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