Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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