Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
