i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
