We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
