Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
