let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
