Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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