direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
either way he was missing a nipple.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize