The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
