I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
